Sunday, April 18, 2010


I'm home from church today with a sick Eloise.  And because Alex was at the Mockingbird conference for 3 days, this makes 4 days of home alone with the girls.

It started great, lots of play dates.  Park trips.   Fun dinners.

But day 4 is bringing on lots of TV.  First Max and Ruby, then Dora, and now 16 and Pregnant on MTV.  What have I come to?

Most of these episodes are truly depressing.  But this one is different.  I'm crying.  I'm sobbing.  And Eloise wants to know why I'm crying.

I'm crying because this particular couple made an inspired decision to give their sweet baby up for adoption against their parents' wishes.

Growing up in very unstable conditions, they wanted more for their baby.  They were able to look outside of themselves.  Selfless.

Tyler, the father, is mature beyond his years.  As his dad, who's been in and out of prison multiple times, tells him that he needs to "man up" and keep the child, he responds with "My daughter deserves better than this."

The dad says, "All the baby need is love."

Tyler, "No, the baby needs more than love.  She deserves a lot more!"

Caitlynn, the mom, is equally mature.  Despite her mother resisting the adoption at every turn because she wants a grandchild and calling Caitlynn numerous explitives, Caitlynn persists in make an unbelievable, sacrificial decision.

Neither Tyler or Caitlynn's parents would sign the documents necessary for the adoption.  So the adoption had to take place off of hospital grounds.

The young couple, who have dated since 7th grade and are in love more than ever, walk the baby off hospital property to give their daughter to her new parents.

It was dramatic.  It was heroic.  And I wept.

There are few things more difficult than handing your baby over to someone else forever.

Why are you crying, Mommy?

I'm crying because this young couple made an unnatural decision to sacrifice while their world was telling them not to.  It was an inspired decision.  No one could have made that decision on their own.

And it was beautiful.

I am rooting for you Tyler, Caitlynn, and baby Carly!


Molly said...

16 and pregnant is one of my guilty pleasures. there's always some heartwrenching story, and i come away feeling deeply for the mothers. Tyler and Caitlynn's story is particularly heartwarming. I cry just about every time I see it or one of their follow up interviews. The moment that typically brings in the tears is the moment they meet with the adopting parents and Caitlynn says "I just want better for her than I had." I also think a lot about why their parents are so resistant to the adoption. Could it be they struggle with they way they raised their own children?

In a follow up episode, Caitlynn is struggling with having let her daughter go and not feeling valued as a mother. She attends a weekend retreat with other mothers who gave their children to adopting parents. What a special time for Caitlynn! She realizes tat she is just as much a mother as any other mom. By giving her daughter to Theresa and Brandon, she made a sacrifice few others can understand. A sacrifice not for herself, but for Carly. Truly inspiring that a 16 year old can be so mature.

Maralee said...

Sounds like a beautiful story. Are you able to do much reading these days, Emily? I read a book last year called "Adoption Nation" and it was fascinating. They talked about the perception of "birthparent" and how far from reality it generally is. They said parents who can make an adoption plan for their child (I try to avoid the phrase "gave up for adoption" because it's not about "giving up" and is such a proactive decision of planning for your child) are people who see a future for themselves and a future for their child. Those who choose to parent may see a future for their child, but not for themselves. Those who choose abortion see a future for themselves, but not for that child. Such an interesting thought. I can see the truth in it from the couple friends of mine who have made adoption plans for their children. They have gone on to be successful while always caring about that child.

Alex said...

Very cool, Maralee! I will check out that book. The phrase "adoption plan" is definitely more descriptively accurate. It definitely describe this young couple that I described--Caitlynn and Tyler. They want more for their child and for themselves. And I think the Holy Spirit (the spirit of Truth) must be speaking (or nudging) to them b/c everyone around them is against them.