Parenting is tiring

Starting at about 9:30am, Eloise starts asking when is Daddy coming home.  

And I say, you know when, you tell me when Dad is coming home.

I'm clearly not enthused by the repetitiveness of the question.  It's about 5 times a day and it's usually asked when she is not happy with something we're doing.  Being the mom with the children all day means I'm more often the bad cop.  I'm the meanie who makes my children eat food, put their shoes on, and take them to ballet class, swim lessons, play dates, park dates.  I know, I know.  Such a meanie.

But the irritation of the day washes away when he walks in the door.  

Eloise goes crazy and Cordelia is quick to follow.

And then I come running after them, slap a kiss on his cheek, give his neck a big snug, and then I sigh because reinforcements have arrived.

Lowering my expectations

Today Alex told me to lower my expectations.  Then, he said, I'd be happier.

Why was I so unhappy?  I was unhappy because today I was going to clean our house.  Not pick-up but clean.  Like clean the Cordelia sized hand prints off the storm door.  Scrub the showers, yuck.  Dust my bedroom.  That type of stuff.

How much did I accomplish?  1 room.  My bedroom.  That's all I accomplished today.

Because while Eloise was in school, Alex and I decided to take Cordelia for a quick stroll.  The quick stroll  turned into a delightful 2 hour excursion to get a couple sausage biscuits for our second breakfast.  Returning home, I had to check my email.  Then return some email.  Fix some lunch.  Then I started cleaning the bedroom.

Before I knew it Eloise was home.  And that was it.  No more could be accomplished.  Eloise wants to help...if I'm within 30 yards of Cordelia, she yelps and whines until I pick her up...and I only became more frustrated.

So Alex told me to quit trying.  Just stop.  Let's do something fun.  And so off we went.  To do more fun things.

At least I have a squeaky clean bedroom.  Right?  Forget being a neat freak.  I guess I should just be a Mom for the time being.

With really low expectations, you're sure to have a fabulous weekend.  Have fun!  (-:

Where have all the coworkers gone?

Staying at home with your babies can be a wonderful, but it does not come without its set of challenges.  One challenge being isolation.  Stuck between your four walls with little contact with the outside world.  It can be very lonely.

Being an extrovert and a people person, some of my favorite parts of the work place are my coworkers.  I love the Jims, Pams, Dwights, Angelas (okay, maybe not the Angelas :-), the Michaels, the whole cast of characters out there.  I've had some fabulous coworkers in the past, some fabulous friends.  I know not all are great, but there's usually one that I can befriend.

Being at home with young children, it iss just you and your babes.  No one to troubleshoot with.  No one to help you find the best solution.  No one to crack a joke when the day isn't going so well.  No one to fill in for you when you need to go to the bathroom.  It can be really tough.

So how does a stay at home mom make it?  I think you've got to find coworkers.  Befriend other stay at home moms, join a MOPS group, be overly extroverted and make a fool of yourself at the park meeting new people and invited them to your house for a play date.  Have I done that?  Yes.  Is it uncomfortable?  Yes.  Am I desperate to connect with other moms. Yes.  (-:  Other ideas...tap into women at church, sign up your baby for a silly music class to meet other Moms, befriend the nannies on block, get outside and walk, befriend neighbors that work at home and have them over for tea, go to the public libraries, and like I hinted at before, tap into your inner extrovert and talk and talk and talk to the people you meet in your neighborhood.  And after some time, you will begin to build a work force.  Friends and support that you need to make it through the day.

My Mom is here visiting right now and it's so fun.  I have the best, most loving coworker with me helping with all the heavy lifting, cleaning, playing, and dancing.  I'm so thankful for my parents and Alex's parents.  While they live thousands of miles away from us, they all visit frequently and support us in innumerable ways.  Our parents are incredible.

In fact, all the co-workers in my life are amazing.

Youthful

At my reunion last weekend, we looked around at each other and thought, "man, we haven't changed a bit!"  I look the same, you look the same, we both feel 18 still.  We're doing pretty well with this aging bit.

Then a classmates Mom sees us at the football game, and she starts laughing at us.  "The same?!"  She says.  "You guys look so different.  Much older!"  We got a good laugh.  She looked older too.  But I'm thinking to myself, much older...hopefully just 10 yrs older, right?

Watching the cheerleaders and the drill team and the football players made Alex and I realize that she was in fact right.  We don't look 18 any more.  But sometimes we feel like it!

Last night I felt youthful again.  I put on my cool jeans and we went to the Belle and Sebastian concert with two cool friends from church.  For their first anniversary, they gave each other identical gifts, 2 tickets to see Belle and Sebastian.  Resulting in 4 tickets.  Isn't that the cutest thing ever?

When over for our monthly church young adult lunch, they heard Belle and Sebastian playing and voila. The rest was history.  It was a hipster crowd for sure.  Before the concert began, I enjoyed seeing what all the cool 20 somethings are wearing these days and what apps they have on their iphones (our seats gave us a great view of many screens.  They were in our line of view, I promise.  No stalking here. :-)

We sat there with our old clamshells in our pockets and tried to conserve our energy.  Truth be told, we were out way past our bedtimes.  Because I think we are old.  I think 3.5 years ago, at the birth of our first child, we aged 1,000 years.  We made an irreversible change.  We will now forever have our cell phones in our pockets on vibrate in case the babysitter needs to get us in the middle of the show.  Our minds will always wander from the music and energy and wonder if our children are snug tight in their beds.  And as I quasi noodle and dance among the other concert goers, I think of how I'm going to embarrass the heck out of our daughters in a just a few years as I break down dancing to the radio while driving carpool.    

Last night I felt simultaneously 18 and 108.  The spirit and fun and amazement of an 18 year old as I grooved with an awesome band and the responsibility of an 108 year old as I thought about my children, their future and their health.  

It feels funny to be 18 and 108 at the same time.  But I'm sure you can relate.

Getting Through (until Dad comes home)

Being a stay at home mom can sometimes be mind numbing.  While it's a complete joy that I wouldn't trade for anything, it can also be a bit boring from time to time.  Every job has it's down falls, right?

I remember working for the Department of Social Services one summer.  It was a long day sitting at a desk with not much I could do and when 4pm rolled around I was toast.  I could only think about what I was doing that night.  That, and I got a bag of M&Ms from the vending machine every 4pm to get me through the last hour.  Or, when I was teaching, I couldn't wait to leave.  I was tired at the end of the day and needed a distraction before I returned the next day.  So if i had the chance, I'd turn on Pittsburgh talk radio and listen to it until I could go (of course only when there were no children in the room).  It was my coping mechanism.

So when I get tired of building towers or reading Dora books or breaking up two tackling girls or following a baby up the stairs or having a tea parties, I grab my camera and start practicing.

This is today's boredom turned into precious memories of my littlest baby.

Who is not so little any more.

Which is your favorite?

Technical Difficulties (bring faith)

I'm having some technical difficulties, so I have no photos for you.  Even though we went to the zoo and saw the panda sleeping.  And saw 2 orangoutangs swinging above our heads.  And 2 elephants in their new and improved and beautiful habitat.  And 2 little 3 year olds holding hands.  I can't share them with you because I'm having technical difficulties.

Eloise had a little technical difficulty herself, today.  She got her thumb stuck in the bench at the zoo.  She was screaming and I was pulling.  I'm thinking, you got this in there, there has to be a way out.  And after one mighty tug, she was free.  Phew.

This is not the first time she's done this.  Her first stuck experience was at the park.  She managed to get her leg stuck in the playground equipment.  She was bruised and tattered.  I was scarred.  Then, she managed to wedge her head between the bar and cart of an airport luggage cart.  Did you catch that?  Her head was stuck.  Stuck.  Stuck. Stuck.  She screamed so loud that her face turned as red as a tomato.  My heart jumped out of my chest.

I figured out how to wiggle her out of that one too.  But barely.


Sheesh.  Parenting is not for the faint of heart.  I know I'm not always going to be able to wiggle her free.  And that's the most terrifying thought of all.

It's in these terribly stressful and scary times that I'm most thankful for my faith in Jesus Christ.  Because I know that when she is stuck, He will carry her.

And when I'm stuck, He will carry me.  And when you are stuck, He will carry you.

He is always carrying you.

Eloise Today

I've dreaded today for a long time.

Today was Eloise's 2nd try at the dentist.  And she has some terrible staining.  And she still sucks on a pacifier at night.  And I was preparing for a major guilt trip.

I always feel badly going to the dentist because I don't floss enough.  I've never flossed enough.  Who does floss enough?

If I don't take care of my own teeth, that's on me.  But not taking care of your daughter's teeth?  That's terrible.  Ahh, man.  It's just terrible.

Then add the fact that Eloise is scared of the dentist.  The first time, I took her to my dentist because they take our insurance.  Wouldn't that be nice?  Yes, it would be.

But it wasn't nice.  Eloise wouldn't take her head out from her coat the entire time.  She wouldn't even look at the dentist, let alone open her mouth.  So I knew today would be a challenge.

It started out well.  She walked willingly into the office.  (Oh, the kid's dentist this time.  No insurance, no problem!  As long as my child opens her mouth.)  Then she played in the waiting room.  Wonderful!

The minutes ticked on, though.  And she grew more nervous.  "Why are they making us wait?!  Don't they know she's going to explode?!"

And she did.  She started wailing.  "I don't want to go to the dentist!"  She yells and cries.

Oh, no.  At this rate, we weren't even going to make it past the waiting room.

But the staff and dentist were the most positive and kid friendly I had ever seen.  They spoke with her with extreme wisdom and confidence.  Then they left us alone.  And we spoke.  We inched up to the door that lead to the offices.  We peered in.  It looked fun inside.

And almost instantly, she released her death grip.  Stopped crying and ran in.  If you remember her flower girl experience, same thing.  From 0 to 100 in no time.  This girl can move.

I sighed.  Relieved.  And am super duper proud!

Eloise, could you just give me a heads up next time?  It'd save a lot of stress on my part.

But then again, parenting wouldn't be so fun.